23 Things To Do When You're Stuck Inside With Flu

1. HAVE A CUP OF TEA!

Tea is great, it makes everything better... well, not flu apparently.. but it was worth a shot. This tea in particular had honey in.. what a treat.

2. HAVE A HOT BATH!

Because the lovely illness that is Mr.Flu makes you sweat.. making you stink. And so, soak in a hot bath, perhaps use the bath and shower products you got given for Christmas, but have been waiting for the right time to use... well now is that time! Soak. Soak yourself silly. But be careful not to fall asleep in the bath, because you could drown.

 

 



3. WASH YOUR HAIR

Your hair will be looking greasy and tangled from those enjoyable nights you've been having, tossing and turning and coughing your guts up... so give it a wash.

For fun : Try and style your fro into a Mohawk, using vast amounts of shampoo.

Be careful not to get any in your eyes, unless you're using 'Johnsons NO TEARS', although I'm not convinced the eyeball could actually stand having Johnson in it.

 

 

4. PAINT YOUR NAILS

This might make you feel better... or not. But it did make me feel better.. for about five minutes.

Cute sparkles.

 

 

 

 5. DRUG UP!

Don't stop drugging up. Even if it says 'do not exceed' on the back... take more. Drug up until you feel better. Until you feel numb. DRUG UP.

 

 

6. PUT ON SOME CLEAN SOCKS (preferably with animals on)

Socks with animals on always make you feel great. Just look at them! Such fun! If you aren't lucky enough to have socks with animals on... poor you. Just put some clean socks on. If your feet are warm, the rest of you will be too.

 

 

7. DO NOT LOOK IN THE MIRROR

It doesn't matter how attractive you are. It doesn't matter if someone once told you 'you look like angelina'... YOU HAVE FLU... you are going to look like shit, so don't do it, don't look in the mirror.

 

 

8. HAVE ANOTHER CUP OF TEA

But this time, drink out of a different cup. Variety is the spice of life. Exciting cup change.

9. HAVE A CUSTARD CREAM
It'd be rude not to.

10. HAVE ANOTHER CUSTARD CREAM

11. DUNK IT!

12. WRITE A BLOG
Just don't copy my idea of 'what to do when you've got flu.'

13. WATCH A FILM

But nothing you'll have to pay much attention to. Something like Disney's Tangled. It's great! The chameleon in it, Pascaal, makes me smile.. so much.

14. WRITE TO A FRIEND

Tell them you have flu. And then wait for a 'get well soon' card in the post. If they don't send you one, then send them your flu in the post. How? Cough into an envelope, seal it tight, send it... when they open it, the flu will fly out into their face.

15. DRINK JUICE OF THE PINEAPPLE SORT
Supposedly it's good for killing germs, and soothes the throat.. so... drink it.

16. SIT DOWN
It's important to sit down every so often.
Flu makes you tired.

So sit down, put your feet up, maybe even put a pillow behind your head. But don't doze off, that's what your bed's for. I sat down here earlier today, and found it rather comfortable.

17. HAVE A LINDT CHOCOLATE EGG
It's not what the Doctor would reccomend... but it tastes good.

 

 

18.  PLAY YOUR GUITAR

Today I learnt 'She'll be coming round the mountain' & 'Drunken Sailor'

If you don't have a guitar.. go to your kitchen, get a pan and wooden spoon.. bang the pan with the spoon. There... music.

 

 

 

19. WATCH A SHORT FILM!!!!

Watch 'What Do We Have In Our Pockets' - Goran Dukic

 

 

 

20. READ SOMETHING
This is a rather good book by James Franco - Palo Alto
READ IT!

 

 

21. PUT A WOOLY HAT ON!
Don't let yourself get cold. Put a wooly hat on.
Oh, and smile..

 

 

22. SLEEP!

Sleep is important.

Do it. Sleep.

You never know, you might have an incredible dream which urges you to write a script, which might get read by someone important, who might want to turn your script into a film, which might make you rich and famous. Don't risk not having that life changing dream by not sleeping. Sleep!

 

 

23. OPEN A 'GET WELL SOON CARD' FROM YOUR MUM
Smile.

So here's 23 things to do when you're stuck inside with flu.

Or you could not do them and be really fucking bored. I dunno

Happy Flu-day xx

when more than a million things are rushing through your head

It's 03.27 in the morning, I'm highly intoxicated and cannot turn my brain to snooze mode. I've tried lying down in bed and closing my eyes, but my head is disagreeing with me. My head says a million things. And my body says 'put me the fuck to sleep. Please.' But my body should know, I will always listen to my head first.

This turned out to be a successful night. A bit of spontaneity. A bit of food. A bit of too much drinky drink. Tap shoes. Smoke. Fairy lights. And all that stuff that fits so perfectly into my room.

A hug, from a certain someone made the night that little bit better.

I should sleep, but I'm sitting, hunched over my laptop listening to music and rolling another.

Don't remember much.
Regret nothing.
Belly full.
Honest mouth.

Now, I know no one really reads this, which is why I feel I have full freedom on what I say.
I could say anything, I could post anything I wanted on here and no one would ever find out. Because, well, my blog doesn't reach people. It kind of just sits there, inside the internet, just a page. And every so often, when I'm awake at silly o'clock in the morning, I open Blogger up and type. But not enough, I don't type enough.

So tonight, I thought I'd just... type? or something.

What is there to talk about?

I just went and made tea.. it was cold in my kitchen.

I decided I want to meet more strangers. People I don't know. They're just interesting, that's all.
I like to hear stories from mouths I've never heard speak.
And laughter from a mouth I've never listened to.
Dunno.

Nutini is on now. 'These Streets', sweet.

What do I miss?

At the moment... Sunshine, I miss sunshine. It makes everyone so much happier.
I miss having warm feet, this house is so cold.
I miss ...

Well, that's about all I miss.

My achievements so far this year...

I've not had a single Starbucks this year.
I've not bought a pouch of baccy this year.
#

 

 

Drinking tea out of a Marmite Mug.

#

 

 

 

 

 

The right kind of high.

Not the dodgey, feeling weird high.

A tad paranoid, but good.

 

 

Can you care too much, do you think?

Or can you never care enough?

 

It's 4am, and my head hurts.

 

 



 





too many stuffed animals in my bed

I'm almost twenty, and still there are several stuffed animals taking over my bed. I barely have room to sleep most nights, because I feel too cruel to make them sleep on the floor. But tonight may be the night I get cruel on their stuffed arses and starfish the f**k out of this single bed.

Let me talk you through the variety of stuffed...things I have here, crowding around me...

One is a banana. A stuffed banana with a face. It unzips. Like a real banana, you can peel his skin down, no pun intended, and underneath is a paler banana face.

Another is a large Daisy Duck my best one bought me a couple years back.

Then there's a tiny Daisy Dick, also bought as a present from a special one. Almost three years ago now.

Duck* not DICK

Number four is an owl. A stuffed owl pillow with buttons for eyes.

And last but not least, lurching beneath my right shoulder, is an owl hot water bottle. This, my friends, I know would not class as a stuffed animal, but nevertheless it sleeps in bed with me... And it's not welcome tonight. Every time I move it makes watery sounds.

I will not throw out my stuffed animals, but tonight...they sleep on the floor!

Dear stuffed creatures of the bed world,

For my comfort, pleasure and need for sleep, I feel it is only right for you to sleep on the floor, just for tonight.

All my love, Me.