23 Things To Do When You're Stuck Inside With Flu

1. HAVE A CUP OF TEA!

Tea is great, it makes everything better... well, not flu apparently.. but it was worth a shot. This tea in particular had honey in.. what a treat.

2. HAVE A HOT BATH!

Because the lovely illness that is Mr.Flu makes you sweat.. making you stink. And so, soak in a hot bath, perhaps use the bath and shower products you got given for Christmas, but have been waiting for the right time to use... well now is that time! Soak. Soak yourself silly. But be careful not to fall asleep in the bath, because you could drown.

 

 



3. WASH YOUR HAIR

Your hair will be looking greasy and tangled from those enjoyable nights you've been having, tossing and turning and coughing your guts up... so give it a wash.

For fun : Try and style your fro into a Mohawk, using vast amounts of shampoo.

Be careful not to get any in your eyes, unless you're using 'Johnsons NO TEARS', although I'm not convinced the eyeball could actually stand having Johnson in it.

 

 

4. PAINT YOUR NAILS

This might make you feel better... or not. But it did make me feel better.. for about five minutes.

Cute sparkles.

 

 

 

 5. DRUG UP!

Don't stop drugging up. Even if it says 'do not exceed' on the back... take more. Drug up until you feel better. Until you feel numb. DRUG UP.

 

 

6. PUT ON SOME CLEAN SOCKS (preferably with animals on)

Socks with animals on always make you feel great. Just look at them! Such fun! If you aren't lucky enough to have socks with animals on... poor you. Just put some clean socks on. If your feet are warm, the rest of you will be too.

 

 

7. DO NOT LOOK IN THE MIRROR

It doesn't matter how attractive you are. It doesn't matter if someone once told you 'you look like angelina'... YOU HAVE FLU... you are going to look like shit, so don't do it, don't look in the mirror.

 

 

8. HAVE ANOTHER CUP OF TEA

But this time, drink out of a different cup. Variety is the spice of life. Exciting cup change.

9. HAVE A CUSTARD CREAM
It'd be rude not to.

10. HAVE ANOTHER CUSTARD CREAM

11. DUNK IT!

12. WRITE A BLOG
Just don't copy my idea of 'what to do when you've got flu.'

13. WATCH A FILM

But nothing you'll have to pay much attention to. Something like Disney's Tangled. It's great! The chameleon in it, Pascaal, makes me smile.. so much.

14. WRITE TO A FRIEND

Tell them you have flu. And then wait for a 'get well soon' card in the post. If they don't send you one, then send them your flu in the post. How? Cough into an envelope, seal it tight, send it... when they open it, the flu will fly out into their face.

15. DRINK JUICE OF THE PINEAPPLE SORT
Supposedly it's good for killing germs, and soothes the throat.. so... drink it.

16. SIT DOWN
It's important to sit down every so often.
Flu makes you tired.

So sit down, put your feet up, maybe even put a pillow behind your head. But don't doze off, that's what your bed's for. I sat down here earlier today, and found it rather comfortable.

17. HAVE A LINDT CHOCOLATE EGG
It's not what the Doctor would reccomend... but it tastes good.

 

 

18.  PLAY YOUR GUITAR

Today I learnt 'She'll be coming round the mountain' & 'Drunken Sailor'

If you don't have a guitar.. go to your kitchen, get a pan and wooden spoon.. bang the pan with the spoon. There... music.

 

 

 

19. WATCH A SHORT FILM!!!!

Watch 'What Do We Have In Our Pockets' - Goran Dukic

 

 

 

20. READ SOMETHING
This is a rather good book by James Franco - Palo Alto
READ IT!

 

 

21. PUT A WOOLY HAT ON!
Don't let yourself get cold. Put a wooly hat on.
Oh, and smile..

 

 

22. SLEEP!

Sleep is important.

Do it. Sleep.

You never know, you might have an incredible dream which urges you to write a script, which might get read by someone important, who might want to turn your script into a film, which might make you rich and famous. Don't risk not having that life changing dream by not sleeping. Sleep!

 

 

23. OPEN A 'GET WELL SOON CARD' FROM YOUR MUM
Smile.

So here's 23 things to do when you're stuck inside with flu.

Or you could not do them and be really fucking bored. I dunno

Happy Flu-day xx

when more than a million things are rushing through your head

It's 03.27 in the morning, I'm highly intoxicated and cannot turn my brain to snooze mode. I've tried lying down in bed and closing my eyes, but my head is disagreeing with me. My head says a million things. And my body says 'put me the fuck to sleep. Please.' But my body should know, I will always listen to my head first.

This turned out to be a successful night. A bit of spontaneity. A bit of food. A bit of too much drinky drink. Tap shoes. Smoke. Fairy lights. And all that stuff that fits so perfectly into my room.

A hug, from a certain someone made the night that little bit better.

I should sleep, but I'm sitting, hunched over my laptop listening to music and rolling another.

Don't remember much.
Regret nothing.
Belly full.
Honest mouth.

Now, I know no one really reads this, which is why I feel I have full freedom on what I say.
I could say anything, I could post anything I wanted on here and no one would ever find out. Because, well, my blog doesn't reach people. It kind of just sits there, inside the internet, just a page. And every so often, when I'm awake at silly o'clock in the morning, I open Blogger up and type. But not enough, I don't type enough.

So tonight, I thought I'd just... type? or something.

What is there to talk about?

I just went and made tea.. it was cold in my kitchen.

I decided I want to meet more strangers. People I don't know. They're just interesting, that's all.
I like to hear stories from mouths I've never heard speak.
And laughter from a mouth I've never listened to.
Dunno.

Nutini is on now. 'These Streets', sweet.

What do I miss?

At the moment... Sunshine, I miss sunshine. It makes everyone so much happier.
I miss having warm feet, this house is so cold.
I miss ...

Well, that's about all I miss.

My achievements so far this year...

I've not had a single Starbucks this year.
I've not bought a pouch of baccy this year.
#

 

 

Drinking tea out of a Marmite Mug.

#

 

 

 

 

 

The right kind of high.

Not the dodgey, feeling weird high.

A tad paranoid, but good.

 

 

Can you care too much, do you think?

Or can you never care enough?

 

It's 4am, and my head hurts.

 

 



 





too many stuffed animals in my bed

I'm almost twenty, and still there are several stuffed animals taking over my bed. I barely have room to sleep most nights, because I feel too cruel to make them sleep on the floor. But tonight may be the night I get cruel on their stuffed arses and starfish the f**k out of this single bed.

Let me talk you through the variety of stuffed...things I have here, crowding around me...

One is a banana. A stuffed banana with a face. It unzips. Like a real banana, you can peel his skin down, no pun intended, and underneath is a paler banana face.

Another is a large Daisy Duck my best one bought me a couple years back.

Then there's a tiny Daisy Dick, also bought as a present from a special one. Almost three years ago now.

Duck* not DICK

Number four is an owl. A stuffed owl pillow with buttons for eyes.

And last but not least, lurching beneath my right shoulder, is an owl hot water bottle. This, my friends, I know would not class as a stuffed animal, but nevertheless it sleeps in bed with me... And it's not welcome tonight. Every time I move it makes watery sounds.

I will not throw out my stuffed animals, but tonight...they sleep on the floor!

Dear stuffed creatures of the bed world,

For my comfort, pleasure and need for sleep, I feel it is only right for you to sleep on the floor, just for tonight.

All my love, Me.

Stage fright

I'm stuck on a dusty stage. I stumble over my words. Search for sentences in my head. But I can't find them. I stutter. The lights flash in my eyes and the audience holds a breath, they're waiting for me to speak. But I can't. I can't even breathe. My mouth is dropped open but nothing comes out. Not breath, nor words. Time stops. My heart beats rapidly, making my chest move in and out, the only part of my body moving. Still, nothing. The audience, still waiting. Nothing. Not a sigh, nor a sound.

ACPRPULMEBEL (apple crumble)

State of mind : Happy to have The Bishop back.. safe.

It is finally Friday. Which means (unless the world ends now) that tomorrow is Saturday. This means Ellie's party. And that makes me smiley face.

State of body : Full of TESCO Apple Crumble. 83p. Tasted proper good.

Eyes : Tired. Got my glasses on.

Hair : Tied in a messy side-bun

Clothes : Grey. Comfortable.

Tonight's events
NOT IN ORDER

We found a mouse...in our house!
I walked out of the kitchen into the living room and saw a little grey mouse on the floor.
It didn't move as I walked past it.
I allerted the members of the house, and our guests.
Of course, as you would when one tells you there is a small, sluffy creature in your house.
Lucy got hysteria.
Jane fell in love at first sight.
Ollie said it was surreal.
Bertie laughed.
Ollie got the yellow gloves from under the sink.
I had to wear the gloves to pick little mouse up.
I must say picking up a mouse proved difficult.
She might have been pregnant, as she wasn't moving and had a large belly.
Lucy insisted we put her out of the house.
I had already formed an emotional attatchment to the mouse.
A few seconds later we named her Betty.

I don't want to write about what happened to Betty.
But just so you don't think we killed her, I'll have to write what happened to her.
We put her in the apple crumble box, with some tissue, and put her outside.
I will check on her before I go to bed...
Perhaps she can sleep in with me.

Some other stuff that happened...

I made Apple Crumble and shared it with J & L.
It tasted ridiculously fantastic. Like, seriously.


We listened to 90's music to get us in the mood for Ellie's FRESH PRINCE themed parrrrtay tomorrow night.

Kotch.

Snugged.

Ate MAOAMS.
Ate crisps.
Drank water.
Drank Becks.
Ate Apple Crumble.
Improvised.
Spoke.
Conversed.
Discussed.
Debated.
Sang.

Now listening to Paolo Nutini.

Had Commedia Del' Arte today.

Had rehearsal for theatre cafe. Went..well.

READY FO' THE WEEKEND.

a perfect day of almost nothingness, + then some of the days previous to this day.

boxes packed.
boxes put into car.
dad approved of positioning of boxes.
squeezed the unicycle in on top of the boxes.

friday morning.

i wake up at around 9:16 am.
i'm going to london today.
i'm driving with mum, to london, today.
we have car sweets.
we play charades in the car.
mum thinks it's hard whilst driving.
she doesn't do badly.

i get to london. foggy london town. foggy.
i wait outside haggerston station for ollieccc.
i chat with a man on his way to a 'wacky & wild' themed party.
ollie approaches, late.
big hug from me, little from him.

tesco list :
booze.
king skins.
chewing gum.
a good time #winkface#thumbs#up

walk to flat.
swipe keys to get in (posh)
get in lift.
go up.
up.
up.
up.
up to fifth.
five 'ups' i did there.

in flat

"holy shit, you've got a cat, it's so fluffy. you didn't tell me you had a cat"
"yeah dais' i did, and she's called daisy"
"oh, yeah!"

roll.
beer.
talk.
roll.
beer.
beer.
"wine?" .. "no."
"food?" .. "fuck yeah i'm starvin'"

ollie complains about having no food in the house.

"Have you got food?"
"No, nothing."
"I always say to mum there's nothing to eat in the house and then there actually is... do you have pasta?"
"yeah.."
"Pesto?"
"umm, yeah."
"Pesto... Pasta? Pesto pasta?"

slab of butter on top and some pepper?

we eat it.
by gosh, it was bloody good.
still....hungry.

roll
beer
talk
talk
rock back on chairs on balcony.
drink drink drink

this may be in a stop/start list but it was a lovely night spent in lovely company and an incredible cat...

daisy the cat smoking a joint
funny on so many levels.

ended up falling asleep on the sofas ; me on one sofa with a massive quilt and daisy the cat, getting her fluffy cat fluff everywhere.
i woke up at 4am with fluffly cat fluff in my mouth.
spluttttter! "daisy, you're cute but fuck off."

"Why are we still awake?"
"dunno... joint?"
"yeah."

SATURDAY 22nd

The day has come..
The day I move back to Southend, and, like an adult, move into a big scary house with my girls.
Finally.
After some troubles with our letting agency (c**ts)! I was on my way to Southend with my headphones in listening to Patsy Cline.
So excited.

blah blah blah, boring stuff happens

I'm at the house, me and mum with all my stuff in the car..
All the girls are here.
IN THE HOUSE
Jane gets a hug.
Roisin gets one too.
There's one for Ellie.
And Mumma Luc' can have a hug.
hugs.all.round.

I threw all my boxes into my big, untouched room.

blah, blah, moments too precious to write and all that shit.

hug mum goodbye, #sad#face
she's a gem #sparkle

that's it.. we're moved in.
sort room!!
sort room!!
room looks shit!!

I unpacked the boxes I had stored at Phil's over the summer and felt a lump in my throat at the sight of some of it...
boxes of things I had in my room from last year in halls!
letters from people, receipts, train tickets, photographs, riddles, bottle caps, marmite jar, ball of string, my vintage clock, harmonica, skulls, a cup with 'I'm a cup' written on it.
Serious case of memory flashbacks.
Little tear. of. joy..

Think back on the amazing summer I have had.

My room slowly improved inbetween kitchen meetings with the girls and making tea intervals.
Bit stoned. But happy.

First night in our house, we sit around the kitchen counter exchanging summer stories, sex stories, and other things.

Second day we wake up, after sleeping in our beds for the very first time.
Best I've slept in months.

Went to Dj's,
hung with Dj,
Improvised with Dj,
Snuggled with Dj,

Third day...

MONDAY 24TH SEPTEMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!
!!!!
!!!
!!
'Babel' Mumford and Son's second album is released in shops today.

I shall now write a seperate blog in a desperate effort to try and describe this album..

And leave you with these photos to re-cap my last few days, hours, evenings, drivings, beach lunchings...

 

 

 

 

 

livin' with ma hoes

roisin

jane

lucy

ellie

 

l.i.f.e.i.s.g.o.o.d

l.i.f.e.g.e.t.s.b.e.t.t.e.r