'Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strength.'



To my dearest,

'Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom.'
'Anxiety is the hand maiden of creativity.'

'Comedy is defiance. It's a snort of contempt in the face of fear and anxiety. And it's the laughter that allows hope to creep back on the inhale. '

To one of the most beautiful people currently in my life,

You're a lot stronger than you think.
Stop with the sad face, it makes me sad.
Start smiling again, it makes me smile.. please.

You're a twat great.

'Is the world strange, or am I strange?'

I'm a little off key, just a little.

My 'naughty drawer' holds a bible, my phone charger, two eye-masks, some filters and papers and my passport.. and one lonely condom.

What good is a pessimistic dreamer?

The day of this tramp;

a whole lot of unknown, mess and confusion but every so often a genuine smile and perhaps a frown, OK so lots of frowns.

I get frustrated, you don't have to be an artist to paint. Or a singer to sing..

I like sharing eye-to-eye contact with a stranger, I always look away last... cowards.

'We can't even talk no more so how we supposed to love?'

FUCKING OPTIMISTS.

A ciggie - bad.
A ciggie and a cuppa - better.

Sugar Puffs are totally overrated.. maaan!

War costs too much and kills too many.

BLOODY AIDS!!

'She's got great teeth and she's marrying me'


Set your alarm further away from your bed, you've got no choice then but to GET OUT OF BED!!

'Life is better when you're caned.'

Ignorance isssss bliss.

Sit on a fence with a pretty view.

James Blunt is really odd, watch an interview with him, I don't lie.

Lies kill tiny children..and kittens.

Shoelaces are the new Velcro.

Stalk me to death.

'She's a waitress, she waits for a living, but she aint happy with the money they're givin'.'

Rather live in a bird house than be a bird.

When will the 'C' word be made illegal?

Echo.

Beards are really quite cool.

Five guys stand together. No sore thumb. Nope.

Bye.

'As the storm captures us'

'Suprise me with sky lanterns.
Let the orange light glow through their shell as they sail into the night sky.
Teach me by talking.
Let your sweet words rest on my skin, let your written voice stain my flesh with ink.
Hurt me by leaving.
Let your absense always ache my heart.
Return to me.
Please.
Let the boats sleep on the water, and let them frown at me when they wake.
Let the waves be shy and crawl away from me.
Let the birds in the sky make me dizzy from watching them circle in the air.
Return to me.
Let the fire burn out and the colour drain from my eyes.'

'Why do I wake..'

'Why do I wake, if not to know you'll be sleeping beside me
Why do I see, if not to see you.
A terrible beauty has rested its head upon you
The sky is watching you both.
Why do I laugh, if not with you
We are now, what we have been and will be
We are then, what we were and can't go back to
Forget if you can but always remember
And let the sky who watches, fall upon you
Let me be that sky'

'Follow your impulse'

'I can't be optimistic. I can be hopeful.'- Fay Vincent

I envy the optimist, I envy his belief in almost everything; his belief that every cloud has a silver lining.


Today I feel rubbish. Yesterday I felt rubbish. I must remind myself how much I do have and how little some other people have... but I'll do that after I've had a vent and let off some steam...
And blogging might not be the best option for some people to unwind, but why shout when you can write?

If any optimists click on my blog, move on... I'd hate to colour your blue skies grey!

After a seriously heavy weekend, drugs, drink and not enough sleep I'm feeling a little down... in fact I'm feeling rubbish, and this isn't a 'pity me please' blog, it's not a cry for help or an attention seeker.. it's just little me having a little moan.. I rarely, if not ever, tell people when I'm down or feeling low.. Why would I? Everyone has their own problems to deal with, they don't need mine.. I'd rather just put it to the back of my head and get on with my life.. but today I feel especially rubbish and I'd just like to write about it I guess.

Friday night, heavily influenced by MD and weed, I stupidly slurred my admiration and crush for a third year Physie.. and although I do not regret it, I feel slightly ashamed of myself that I didn't do it sober.. I'm usually kinda upfront about that kind of thing.. I won't apologise because as James Sutherland says "FOLLOW YOUR IMPULSE!" And I did.. The person in question is older than me, not sure they appreciated it to be honest, and if it were me I'd probably think "SILLY KID." But what's done is done..
What's worse is I spoke to 'person' today and NEVER, EVER have I had word vomit so badly...!! I NEVER BLUSH, WORD SLUR OR GET AWKWARD, in fact even the word 'awkward' makes me angry... it's just not me.. but today I royally fucked up... Everything that came out of my mouth was just vomit, vomit, vomit... blush, shudder, shy, embarrassment.. JHEEEZZ!!! Moving on swiftly... we'll see how that goes.. downhill no doubt?

I feel beautiful

I feel inadequate 

I was called another girls' name while in bed with someone.... not ideal.
Not because of him, sex is sex (by the way I wasn't called her name while having sex.. God NO!!), but because I have to see her everyday.. and usually I'd just shrug my shoulders and say "Oh well..." and put 'The Daisy Act' on, with added lights and staging, but for some reason it's hit me this time.. I'm not suprised really, she is beautiful.. but honestly!!!!


Anyway.. I'll do what I do best and forget it.. it's happened, life goes on..

I must remind myself how lucky I am.. no matter what fucks up..

I sit, listening to EAGLES - 'The Last Resort'... Music really does make everything better.

I have my health, a beautiful family, incredible friends, top education from a top drama school and so much more.. There are always people out there worse off than me, and I am so lucky to have what I do.

Dear Daisy...

SMILExx